Talking to your Family and Network about Allergies

After our son, Kevin, was diagnosed with severe food allergies, we learned quickly how important it was to talk to our family and friends about the severity of his allergies - not just for his physical safety, but also for his emotional well-being.

Once when Kevin was a toddler, his uncle served a Thomas the Train cake at a family party. Kevin begged us for a piece as all of his cousins were enjoying it. At first we tried ignoring the question, but when we finally explained he couldn't have any, he said "peas mamma, I'll be good." He thought withholding cake was a form of punishment. I'm not sure who felt worse - us or his uncle.

One of the most important ways to keep yourself or your allergic child safe is through clear and repetitive communication with others. This includes family, friends, teachers, coaches, school parents, co-workers, etc.

I include repetitive because we can all become complacent in the day-to-day hustle and bustle. For example:

• teachers have several students to manage at one time and may not remember your child's specific requirements

• family members may not always remember to offer inclusive meal options when they host parties or holidays

• the workplace may not have an allergen friendly dining option at the next company meeting or not know that you carry epi-pens in case of emergency -and how to administer if necessary

While we all deserve privacy, especially as it relates to health matters, being allergic means being vocal. I don't personally know what it's like to be timid, but I can imagine advocating for yourself or child can be challlenging for some people.

So here are just a few ideas on communicating with those in your network:

1. Start with family and friends - train everyone on how to administer an epi. Bring your own or child's own food until you feel they understand not only what needs to be avoided but also the nuances like cross-contamination risk, using clean utensils, etc.

2. Create a food allergy card listing yours or your child's allergies - there are great templates on FARE's site (www.foodallergy.org) or create your own - we laminate ours and use them everywhere.

3. Find out what food(s) is being served at the event/birthday party. Explain to the host your situation and that you may decide to bring your own version, depending on your allergy needs.

4. Continually remind teachers of the importance of carrying epi pens and of your child's restrictions.

5. Let your coworkers know if you have allergies and how they can support you.
   

Your loved ones and those in your network want to help. So help them help you.